There's a Reason for Everything!

Not that it bothered me or anything, but I always wondered why men and women had separate restrooms. I understand that it may be more comfortable for both genders, as it is for me. But what prompted institutions, restaurants, schools and all the other places with separate restrooms to segregate?

From what I've read online and my general working knowledge being a woman, I'm assuming it is because our society holds steady on the idea that nudity, sex, doing the 'duty', or whatever are personal affairs, and should be handled as personably as possible. Same goes for the idea that boys and girls shouldn't share beds, or there is no such thing as boy/girl slumber parties. Honestly, I have never been to one or known any person to have a slumber party for their child with boys and girls sleeping over. That was a sideline comment...Conglomerating women together in restrooms allows for less discomfort. At one point I was always afraid to open sanitary napkins or tampons while other women were in the same restroom as me, afraid that they'd hear me and know what I was up to. Now, I have no issues with that. I understand that everyone coming into that restroom has either 'been there, done that' or will soon 'be there and do that'. As the same for men!

Imagine walking into a public restroom and seeing a man standing at a urinal with a woman squatting on the toilet right next to him. Or what about those times when you're on a date and you need to go powder your nose? Wouldn't it be awkward for your date to walk in the restroom while you're getting pretty?

But recently I've come to appreciate separate restrooms even more. At my job there is a staff lounge, outside of our office right down the hall. In that lounge are two single restrooms, no gender designation. After drinking an 18oz cup of sweet tea, I immediately needed a potty break. Well, as I'm walking into one of the singles, the director of our office (male) is walking out. Surprisingly, the other restroom was occupied. So I was forced to use the bathroom that our director had just exited. I immediately wanted to barf after seeing the way that he left the restroom for the next person. Soapy sink knobs, toilet seat raised with drops of urine all over the toilet! I guess he thought that by him smiling and speaking before leaving that I'd forgive him. And I did... it wasn't until he repeated the action two days later, when my best friend walked into the same bathroom that he just left out of. She too noticed the same exact thing that I did, making him a habitual toilet-seat-leaver-upper-pee-stained-toilet-wetter!

And he's married... now this may not be the case for all men, but he is one nasty guy for that. His wife has to be crazy to accept that.

What Chasing a Guy/Girl can do to your Long-Term Goals!

HAHAHA!

I thought I'd never touch a topic like this. However, it seems to be a problem in my opinion.

Honestly, as a teen, having a boy/girlfriend isn't necessary at all. It tends to be a fad... "Everyone is doing it"... True enough, but what are they really gaining from the individual they're with?

I once told myself that I would no longer date guys who don't have a strong sense of self, LONG-TERM goals, an education, a platform and a clear view of the life ahead of him. Is that asking too much? Not at all. It's worked out pretty well for me too!

What we tend to do as humans is focus on the short-term; what will look/feel good now? But your ultimate happiness is key! Focusing on the now could put a damper on your future. It could cause you to make decisions that could change your life, FOR THE WORSE!

For example... It's senior year and you've just met this cute guy. He has a car, a job at the local bookstore, and he's pretty much content there. You fall head over heels for this guy, to only find out that in August you'll be leaving for an Ivy-league school, and he'll be promoted to cashier at the bookstore. OH NO! What are you going to do 500 miles away from the guy that you think you're going to spend the rest of your life with??? Your solution... "I'll go to a local college and build my life around someone who clearly doesn't have any plans for his life!!!"

THAT IS THE WRONG ANSWER AND THE WRONG ATTITUDE TO HAVE. DO YOU SEE HOW CHASING THAT GUY HAS SENT YOU ON A DETOUR? LOW AND BEHOLD YOU DON'T GO TO SCHOOL AT ALL AND YOU GUYS BREAK UP. NOW WHAT?

This is truly something to think about considering the Fall semester is approaching and a lot of you guys will face that BIG question: "What will chasing him/her do to my goals?"

My advice is to stay true to yourself and evaluate who you are. Take time out and think about the person you want to be. Think about the person you are with, or wish that you were with, and evaluate them as well. If your goals in life don't match the least bit, RECONSIDER your options and focus on YOU!

"He Said I Was Different"

Ok, so we've heard it all before. Whether you're male or female. However, I'm writing this post specifically for my young female readers, because... well I'm female myself!

Today, I will talk about why girls may hear this, some variations of "you're different", how to avoid feeling bad about being different, and the result of being different.

I'm going to group all of my teen readers together (13-18 y/o), so when I speak of 'you', it's not direct, it's across the board.

Scenario: Jane has known John since middle school, and she's always had a little crush on him. When they entered high school together, Jane knew that things were destined to be perfect. John would be her homecoming date, her prom date, high school sweetheart, partner in marriage... blah, blah, blah! Yes, a lot of girls think this far into the future when considering the next potential. Don't be sucked into the hype!

Anywho, Jane never worked up enough courage during freshman year to actually tell John how she felt. Sophomore year rolls around, John has made the JV basketball team and Jane has been secretly obsessing over this guy, for what 4 years now? You'd think that she'd say something by now, to avoid him being swept away for the captain of the cheer squad.

So, mellow Jane (very pretty and smart, might I add) builds up the courage to tell John how she feels. It's Wednesday evening after dance practice, and John is standing outside the gym with his fellow team members. And then the words just fall out, soooo unexpectedly...

"John, I, I, I... I like you,"

"You what??? But why?"

"Well, it's been a while and I just thought that now was the best time to tell you. Can we discuss this over ice cream Friday after school?"

"Sure Jane, I don't see why not. See you then"

Jane runs home, overly enthused to tell her mother, who by the way has known about this crush for some time. Her mothers only words were, "be careful Jane"...

So Friday rolls around, and Jane is waiting for John at the local ice cream parlor, and sure enough he comes strolling around the corner.

"Ok... lip gloss check!"

They chit chat for what seems like forever, and Jane is reassured that this is the perfect match. They continue to go on these random after-school excursions for about 3 weeks, only to come to a screeching halt when John announces over the phone that he can't date her anymore... get this! Because she's different...
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Ok, so of course I have to give my synopsis of this story (yes, it's made up. I didn't mean to stereotype anyone, just written to create suspense and a storyline to follow)... Anywho, back to my synopsis... I know there are some ladies and/or men who have heard this line far too many times and can relate to Jane. And like most, they probably took it the wrong way or out of context.

Let me be the one to say, there is absolutely, positively, nothing wrong with being different! We all want to be different sometimes, whether we want to stand out on our college application, or if we really want that job we've just interviewed for. WE ALL WANT TO BE DIFFERENT.

However, in Jane's case... being different=being an outcast=BAD!

So, what should Jane do? First, I suggest that Jane talks to her mother. I'm sure her mother can alleviate some of the stress behind those words. But most importantly she's going to have to learn to cope on her own. So... I recommend that Jane evaluates herself, list the things that make her different from other girls and explain to herself why these are 'good' things.. Chances are her list looks like this:

1. I'm on the dance team (result: you're in the new dance production at school)
   
2. Involved in student government (result: you're in line to become the new Student Body President)
   
3. I consider myself very conservative and classy (result: hey, the results are endless)
4. I'm a straight A student (result: you've made the dean's list)
   
5. I have green eyes and strawberry blonde hair (result: you're not a blonde, or a brunette... but who really cares?)
   
6. I'm very tall and lean (result: you may one day become a model, or maybe even a basketball star)
   
7. etc, etc, etc.

DO YOU GET MY DRIFT? The things that make you different aren't always bad things. As a matter of fact, they're almost always good things just portrayed as bad things.

Variations of the line "you are different":

• "It's just something about you"
• "You're not my type"
• "I've never had a girlfriend like you before"

I hope I've alleviated some unnecessary stress in your life...

If you have any other stories like this, or have had to deal with someone labeling you as "different", feel free to drop a comment.