GAB Rant: Interracial Dating

GAB Rant is where I'll rant and rave about minor and/or major occurrences that I experience around the office- or near the office, on a somewhat day-to-day basis! Enjoy :-)

This subject may be a tad bit touchy for some of my readers. However, it is an extreme issue in my opinion. I am in an interracial relationship and recently (today actually) stumbled upon an article that I believe to be complete CRAP!

Here's the link: CRAP!

Since when does it become OK for a justice of peace official to dictate who he/she will or will not marry. That's a serious issue in my opinion! Aren't there laws out there to prevent such ignorance?

I mean seriously, this guy denied an interracial couple a marriage license because he was 'looking out for the offspring'. Really??!! If people have an issue with interracial couples and their children, then that's the problem of that individual. Such couples should not be denied the right to be officially married simply because society doesn't accept interracial children.



I have interracial friends, and I don't treat them any different than I treat my other non-interrational friends. I know that doesn't mean that everyone in the world will be like me, but neither does it give me the right to discriminate against them because of who their parents are. That's a serious issue with society today; people are too worried about what society thinks! Who cares??? People make up society, therefore it is the ideals of the people that form the perception for the whole. Action needs to be taken against idiots who believe that they have the power to regulate and create their own laws.

I understand that this particular justice of peace THOUGHT he was doing the right thing, but what person in their right mind really thinks that?

I guarantee that if my current relationship does result in marriage, there is ABSOLUTELY no way that I will tolerate such belligerent behavior from someone whose job title includes the word 'peace'! At that point, you definitely need to go over that persons head! The law should be uniform, and the last time I checked there was a high percentage of uniformity in the US. He should receive the most severe punishment, whether that includes jail time or losing his job.

Was he really upholding the standards of his title/position, or was he misusing his power and breaking the law? What do you guys think?

What Chasing a Guy/Girl can do to your Long-Term Goals!

HAHAHA!

I thought I'd never touch a topic like this. However, it seems to be a problem in my opinion.

Honestly, as a teen, having a boy/girlfriend isn't necessary at all. It tends to be a fad... "Everyone is doing it"... True enough, but what are they really gaining from the individual they're with?

I once told myself that I would no longer date guys who don't have a strong sense of self, LONG-TERM goals, an education, a platform and a clear view of the life ahead of him. Is that asking too much? Not at all. It's worked out pretty well for me too!

What we tend to do as humans is focus on the short-term; what will look/feel good now? But your ultimate happiness is key! Focusing on the now could put a damper on your future. It could cause you to make decisions that could change your life, FOR THE WORSE!

For example... It's senior year and you've just met this cute guy. He has a car, a job at the local bookstore, and he's pretty much content there. You fall head over heels for this guy, to only find out that in August you'll be leaving for an Ivy-league school, and he'll be promoted to cashier at the bookstore. OH NO! What are you going to do 500 miles away from the guy that you think you're going to spend the rest of your life with??? Your solution... "I'll go to a local college and build my life around someone who clearly doesn't have any plans for his life!!!"

THAT IS THE WRONG ANSWER AND THE WRONG ATTITUDE TO HAVE. DO YOU SEE HOW CHASING THAT GUY HAS SENT YOU ON A DETOUR? LOW AND BEHOLD YOU DON'T GO TO SCHOOL AT ALL AND YOU GUYS BREAK UP. NOW WHAT?

This is truly something to think about considering the Fall semester is approaching and a lot of you guys will face that BIG question: "What will chasing him/her do to my goals?"

My advice is to stay true to yourself and evaluate who you are. Take time out and think about the person you want to be. Think about the person you are with, or wish that you were with, and evaluate them as well. If your goals in life don't match the least bit, RECONSIDER your options and focus on YOU!

"He Said I Was Different"

Ok, so we've heard it all before. Whether you're male or female. However, I'm writing this post specifically for my young female readers, because... well I'm female myself!

Today, I will talk about why girls may hear this, some variations of "you're different", how to avoid feeling bad about being different, and the result of being different.

I'm going to group all of my teen readers together (13-18 y/o), so when I speak of 'you', it's not direct, it's across the board.

Scenario: Jane has known John since middle school, and she's always had a little crush on him. When they entered high school together, Jane knew that things were destined to be perfect. John would be her homecoming date, her prom date, high school sweetheart, partner in marriage... blah, blah, blah! Yes, a lot of girls think this far into the future when considering the next potential. Don't be sucked into the hype!

Anywho, Jane never worked up enough courage during freshman year to actually tell John how she felt. Sophomore year rolls around, John has made the JV basketball team and Jane has been secretly obsessing over this guy, for what 4 years now? You'd think that she'd say something by now, to avoid him being swept away for the captain of the cheer squad.

So, mellow Jane (very pretty and smart, might I add) builds up the courage to tell John how she feels. It's Wednesday evening after dance practice, and John is standing outside the gym with his fellow team members. And then the words just fall out, soooo unexpectedly...

"John, I, I, I... I like you,"

"You what??? But why?"

"Well, it's been a while and I just thought that now was the best time to tell you. Can we discuss this over ice cream Friday after school?"

"Sure Jane, I don't see why not. See you then"

Jane runs home, overly enthused to tell her mother, who by the way has known about this crush for some time. Her mothers only words were, "be careful Jane"...

So Friday rolls around, and Jane is waiting for John at the local ice cream parlor, and sure enough he comes strolling around the corner.

"Ok... lip gloss check!"

They chit chat for what seems like forever, and Jane is reassured that this is the perfect match. They continue to go on these random after-school excursions for about 3 weeks, only to come to a screeching halt when John announces over the phone that he can't date her anymore... get this! Because she's different...
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Ok, so of course I have to give my synopsis of this story (yes, it's made up. I didn't mean to stereotype anyone, just written to create suspense and a storyline to follow)... Anywho, back to my synopsis... I know there are some ladies and/or men who have heard this line far too many times and can relate to Jane. And like most, they probably took it the wrong way or out of context.

Let me be the one to say, there is absolutely, positively, nothing wrong with being different! We all want to be different sometimes, whether we want to stand out on our college application, or if we really want that job we've just interviewed for. WE ALL WANT TO BE DIFFERENT.

However, in Jane's case... being different=being an outcast=BAD!

So, what should Jane do? First, I suggest that Jane talks to her mother. I'm sure her mother can alleviate some of the stress behind those words. But most importantly she's going to have to learn to cope on her own. So... I recommend that Jane evaluates herself, list the things that make her different from other girls and explain to herself why these are 'good' things.. Chances are her list looks like this:

1. I'm on the dance team (result: you're in the new dance production at school)
   
2. Involved in student government (result: you're in line to become the new Student Body President)
   
3. I consider myself very conservative and classy (result: hey, the results are endless)
4. I'm a straight A student (result: you've made the dean's list)
   
5. I have green eyes and strawberry blonde hair (result: you're not a blonde, or a brunette... but who really cares?)
   
6. I'm very tall and lean (result: you may one day become a model, or maybe even a basketball star)
   
7. etc, etc, etc.

DO YOU GET MY DRIFT? The things that make you different aren't always bad things. As a matter of fact, they're almost always good things just portrayed as bad things.

Variations of the line "you are different":

• "It's just something about you"
• "You're not my type"
• "I've never had a girlfriend like you before"

I hope I've alleviated some unnecessary stress in your life...

If you have any other stories like this, or have had to deal with someone labeling you as "different", feel free to drop a comment.

A Previous Life...

For those of you who didn't know (I'm sure none of you did), I used to have a blog directed toward older teens where I'd give advice and tidbits about relationships, employment, scholarships, and other things along that line. However, the school year rolled around and I found myself with less time to dedicate to my blog... so, I stopped blogging as much and very seldomly viewed my comments from this blog. It wasn't until about a week ago that I actually deleted it, so it was still getting comments.

A few days ago, I decided to open up that yahoo account and see what was new. To my surprise, many of my readers enjoyed my relationship advice. So as a gift to my new readers, I' m going to post my old posts on this blog. I'll try to do this once a week, maybe on Sundays. So be sure to watch out for this... The first one will be posted on Sunday, July 26th!